Ewww! Somebody get the shoe. No! Wait, it's just a chocroach. Yes, you heard me right! I was asked to do this cake for a friend in the pest control business! It will be raffled off at the end of the Clovis Home & Garden Show =)
Underneath a less than exquisite fondant exoskeleton, lies a real work of art that honestly needs no frosting or adornment at all. What I am hooting about now you ask? Why, this is THE All-American Chocolate Torte from Rose Levy Beranbaum's legendary book, The Cake Bible, in disguise. I adore this cake so much, it is now my standard chocolate cake. Her method of baking is so unique, thoughtful and lovingly prepared. The recipes are not mere recipes, they are scientific kitchen tangos! An exacting science, this cake took many tries before getting it right but of boy was the result worth it. It is so soft and fluffy, I feared the fondant would flatten the cake's lofty stories of deliciousness. But alas, I was afraid for nothing. The cake would stand and stand again, layer after layer, tier after tier, as in the last 48 hours I have had to make a whopping 5 batches each time learning something new. I am a high altitude baker, I should add. Cakes like to try to give me hassle, but my kitchen whip is stiff and my will unfailing LOL. As you might be able to tell I have been up two whole nights in a row without sleep making my grand total of unslept deliriousness about 36 hours. I am hallucinating, exhusted beyond expression, I fell asleep blow drying my hair upside down this morning, standing, and woke up after realizing I was blow dreaming! IS that a word? LOL Anyways, I am posting the fruits of my labor and going to bed, really, to BED! I mean it! This is the first time in my life I have stayed up all night twice in a row and didn't lie down for naps etc. I must be nuts.
Speaking of nuts, this cake had none, but was filled with GREEN BUTTERCREAM so it would really have that unique "this cake is the most incredible thing I have ever tasted, but, it looks so *excuse me* blaahhhhhh!!!" *snickers pleased with myself* It was terribly realistic, and gross! I meant to do the whole cake as one huge roach, but as I found, real Madagascar Hissers are too flat to be torted filled cakes of 4" or more. That is why you see the white base holding the chocroach's leggies up.
SO how did I make this? Because I just know you are dying to go make one for yourself right..now... (don't you?) I aim to please!
-I took a 10" square pan, baked a cake, cooled it, cut it in half stacking the removed half on top of the remaining half to make a big rectangle torted and filled with delicious but disgusting looking green bugger-cream. I meant, buttercream. Sorry.
-I proceeded with freezing the cake for a BRIEF period of time (about an hour) to make it stable for carving, then I got a sharp knife and cut myself a bug. It was wild watching sheets of cake fall away, something I would NEVER dare do to my normal cakes! It made me so nervous!
-I finally became happy with my bug base, so I frosted it then covered it with layers of fondant mimicing the Madagascar Hissing Roach's shell. It was fun! It started out pure white, then I hand painted it all with food colorings until it made me want to kill it. Voila!
The Madagascar Hissing Cockroach was my inspi-roach-ion. I am happy with how it turned out, though in the future, should I find myself needing to make another chocroach I will be making it a one layer sheet cake so it can be made without anything underneath showing. I figured the main attraction would not be my crumbcoat, lol, and took a gamble on human nature =) I hope it grossed out many a patrons at the Home and Garden Show this year (Clovis NM) and pray that it encouraged Bobby's prospective clients to hire him so they didn't have to meet the inedible less pleasant versions of this little guy at their homes, without having the win the cake. You know what I mean?
Do you live in Clovis, NM? DO you think this cake is gross? Would you want REAL cockroaches in your home eating your cake? Or would you prefer to eat a cake that looks like them instead of having them over as guests, invited or not! If you don't like the idea of meeting a chocroach MINUS the chocolate, in your own home someday soon, you NEED to call Bobby at Affordable Pest Control! He has taken great care of my family for the entire time we've lived here, and we couldn't be more pleased. In addition to professional service, we gained a true friend.
Bobby falls into the category of being one of the world's few remaining honest and trustworthy businessmen and patriots, running a business, honoring his word, supporting the Vets all around us while charging more than a fair price for his work.
If you need pest control help, please visit his site at http://www.clovisbugguy.com and schedule a consultation to discuss how he can help you to keep your home free of roaches and other unspeakables all year long using ingredients safe for home organic gardeners etc! You'll lose the bugs and gain a friend in the process.
I have one more cake to post tonight then it is time to pass out into my keyboard like garfield in lasagna. Here we go, onward!
Jemoiselle
so disgusting!
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